While many people claim to be able to forgive and forget,
there is the one little curse which hangs over our heads called memory which constantly reminds us,
whenever certain elements line up,
of the egregiousness in question which brings back all those horrific feelings. But,
there are steps you can take.
Talk it Out: Most of us claim that we will forgive and forget when we have been wronged in one way or another. But it is never as easy as it seems. So if you have been wronged and you are feeling personally violated from this event then perhaps you need to address the issue squarely where it lies. Once you have thought through all your problems with said person or event then you need to sit down and calmly let them have it! You need to yell,
you need to cuss,
you need to get every last thing off your chest so that you can finally say to yourself that you have said all you need to say on the matter in question.
Keep It to Yourself: After having your rage session the idea will be squarely back in your frontal lobes and you will suddenly feel the urge to bring this issue up at otherwise inappropriate times. If this is your partner,
whenever their good friends or relatives are around; out at dinner; in the car. While these may seem like completely logical times to berate someone you care about,
this attitude is forgetting the whole deal (forgive and forget) in the first place. Also,
brining up an otherwise private matter in public places with random strangers or with close friends is a pretty bad idea,
if for no other reason than because no one else knows about it.
Yell at Yourself: While the constant urge may strike you to yell and yell and blame yea who wronged,
it should be remembered that there had to have been an underlying impetus,
a first instinct,
a major issue at play here. So rather than turning it around and dealing with the incident,
why don’t you look a little closer at your own involvement in the event from the get go. Once you have taken responsibility for your role in the event,
then and only then will you be able to forgive. Next time you are in that same situation,
you would do wise to not forget. (Jesse Schmitt)